Death is a perplexing thing, an emotion bomb for the stupid. I mean end of life death, not premature tragedy.

Life is a one way street with a brick wall at the end. Allowed to progress naturally, that brick wall won’t move. It’s just shit that happens. I have never experienced grief at natural death. I accept it. That makes me callous to most. That’s ok – water off a duck’s back. It’s less offensive than irrational emotional rage. Not being able to deal with an inevitable natural death, no matter how cruel, is like a toddler having a tantrum at not being allowed a new toy. Grow up you fucks. Death will come to you as well. Suck shit. You can’t avoid it. You are a tooth fairy believing imbecile child if you think different.

My Ma got rapid onset leukaemia diagnosed a week ago. She’s been in hospital since then. Just got her home. She’s currently comfortable and in bed with a belly full of soup, Oxycontin, temazepam and morphine. That’s as good as it gets for her. Maybe 2 weeks to live. She wants to die here and I understand. I will do my duty and try to keep some nutrition go in her belly while I feed her a cocktail of opiods junkies would kill for. I have an unlimited scrip for those. Hooray. She’ll feel good pro tempore, until she breathes her last.

She’ll be dead soon and I won’t shed a tear. Why? Because I am not an idiot. “Grief” is pure narcissism. It is an “I care more than you” Olympics. Where vile people that never cared about you in real life want to show how “human” and “decent” they are… <barf>…

I’ll keep her fed, drugged up and happy in the meantime. When she breathes her last, I will call the grave diggers and her church. But I won’t shed a tear because I live in reality and the knowledge I did what I could to make her passing easy and that she knows I was a good son. I am a better human than most at the end of the day. Welcome to the real world.

End of sermon.